Princess
Love - Chapter 18
Nick quietly opened the door to Jen's room and stepped in, closing the
door behind him. He walked towards the bed, slowly, and looked over
to see Jen laying there with her eyes open and fresh tears on her cheeks.
"Jen..." Nick whispered and leaned over to put his hand on her back and
he ran it up and down in a soothing motion. "Are you okay?" He asked
gently, still speaking in a whisper. She just nodded, she couldn't
even speak. "I want to help you." Nick said and continued to rub
her back as he sat on the edge of her bed. "Sshh..." He kept saying
and eventually her eyes closed and she fell asleep. Nick didn't want
to leave her, so he quietly got up and told everyone that he was going
to stay with Jen for awhile and they all understood. Nick pulled
a chair up to her side and just sat there and watched her.
"Sometimes I don't know what to do or what to say to make the person I
care about feel better. I feel hopeless sometimes. I can't
get the right words out, like I look at a person and I need to tell them
something important, but the words just won't come out. Sometimes
I look at you and I just want to make your past go away, for you to be
a normal girl who is happy and carefree. I want to go up to you and
take your hand, kiss you and tell you something that I haven't told anyone
before. That I truly, deeply, love you. I know so much about
you and I want to know more and more about you; what you think, what you
feel and what you want. I want you to be in my arms
with me, forgetting
all of your problems. I know guys have a rough time saying what they want
or what they feel. They don't want to feel stupid or regret what
they say. I feel that way sometimes but I know that I should say
what I need to. Gosh... if only I could tell you that I love you,
so that you hear me. You make me... you make me want to be a better
person. I want to be strong and perservering like you, to look forward
to the future, not backwards to the past. I heard somewhere that
people shouldn't dwell on the past, they should dwell on the future.
There is no way that you can press rewind and change what has already happened.
You don't do that and that is what I like about you." Nick stood
up and shook his head.
"I can't believe I have told you all of this, but it doesn't matter, you
haven't heard me anyway." He said, wishing that maybe she had. He
left the room and she sat up, her eyes full of tears. She had heard
every word and now she didn't know what to do.
She felt like a burden. She had so many problems and she didn't want
to drag anyone into it. She should have to deal with her past alone,
not make other people help her with it. Then she looked up and remembered
what Nick had just said. "People shouldn't dwell on the past, they
should dwell on the future." He was smarter than he thought.
She got dressed in a white dress and washed her face and left her hair
down, which went just past her shoulders. She looked at her watch,
it was late and she wasn't sure if anyone would still be up or in the room
any more. She went to Brian's room and opened the door, which had
been left unlocked and slightly open. She opened the door and found
Nick on the bed flipping through the channels.
"Where is everyone?" Jen asked as she walked in and Nick looked at her
and smiled.
"They went clubbing." He laughed. "That should be interesting, I hope they
don't cause a riot." He said and smiled.
"No, not if you aren't there." She smiled and shy walked toward him, she
felt different after listening to him a couple of minutes before.
"I'm not sure about that." He smiled and patted the spot next to him.
"Come here." He said and she did, sitting next to him with his arm around
her, it was a tight squeeze on the twin size bed. She watched the
television and then Nick looked at her.
"How are you doing?" He asked, she looked a lot better.
"Great," she smiled, "I was just listening to something and there was this
guy on the radio and he said something that really helped me." She said
and looked up at Nick.
"And what did he say?" Nick asked curiously.
"Well... he said that a person shouldn't dwell on their past, they should
dwell on their future." She said, looking up at Nick who smiled.
"Oh really? And who would this fabulous guy be?"
"Oh... man! I forgot his name!" She laughed and he squeezed her tight and
she giggled.
"Must not be anyone important then." Nick said, looking back at the television.
"Actually, he is very important." She said.
"How important?" Nick asked and she smiled.
"Well..." She leaned over and up, so she spoke in his ear. "I love
him." She said and Nick was silent for a moment.
"How old is this radio guy anyway?" He laughed and then turned more serious.
"You heard every word, didn't you?" He asked and she nodded, a small smile
on her lips.
"Don't be embarrassed or shy, I want you to tell me what you think and
feel, don't hide anything from me. I have a question for you." She
said and sat up to face him.
"Sure. What is it?" He asked, looking at the serious expression on
her face.
"You have to tell me the truth, because if you don't I will never forgive
you. Do you think I am a burden?" She asked and took a deep breath.
"What!?" Nick asked, surprised.
"Am I annoying and make you go through more problems then you want?" She
asked and Nick looked at her and laughed.
"You are kidding... right?" He asked and she shook her head.
"No." She said.
"You aren't a burden! Just relax, I will tell you if you are a burden."
He smiled, wondering what ever made her think something like that.
"Let's go back to our room, everyone should be back soon." Jen nodded and
they headed back to the room to watch more television.
"That was fun!" Howie said as he swung the door open to the room that he
shared with Valerie. She nodded and sat down on the bed. Howie
went and took a shower and Valerie dialed home and checked the messages
on the machine, there weren't any and she was glad.
Howie came out ten minutes later and Valerie went in and took a shower,
she threw herself on the bed and closed her eyes.
"You have to tell me what is bothering you. Is there something you
aren't telling me?" Howie asked and turned the light back on.
"Of course not, I am just very tired." Valerie said and told herself that
she had to act normal until they got back to Orlando; which would be for
a month. It would be hard.
Howie stood up and put his hands on his hips and looked down at her.
"I am BEGGING YOU!" Howie said and Valerie raised her eyebrows and looked
at him.
"I told you, there is nothing wrong." Valerie said and Howie threw himself
on the floor and got down on his hands and knees.
"I am more than BEGGING YOU!" Howie said and looked at Valerie with a sad
look on his face. Valerie didn't know what to do, she just wanted
to get away from him and not tell him anything. She stood up and
got her bag.
"Valerie?" Howie asked and she didn't turn around, she just continued to
pack her bag. "I have to ask you a question." He said quietly and
turned her around.
"What?" She asked and looked at Howie who held a velvet box in his right
hand. He opened it and showed a huge diamond ring to her.
"Will you marry me?" He asked and looked at her.
"No." She said and turned around and continued to pack.
"Why don't you love me anymore?" Howie asked. "Do you hate me? Do
you really want me to leave?" He asked.
"I don't know, no and maybe." She said, irritated.
"I got an idea!" Howie said and jumped off of the bed and went to the room
across from theirs. He knocked on the door and Elizabeth looked at
him, sleepily.
"Can you help me? There is something wrong with Valerie." He said and Elizabeth
walked across the hall. She told Howie to go in her room for a little
while and she sat and talked with Valerie.
"I've seen you. You have looked depressed lately." Elizabeth said
as she sat next to Valerie.
"It's a long story." She said and Elizabeth nodded.
"Okay, start." She said and smiled.
"Well... I love Howie, but I have been pulling myself away from him lately.
I don't know why, exactly. First, I think that he really doesn't love me.
He doesn't want to marry me and he forgets to tell me things that are important..."
Valerie sighed.
"No one is perfect." Elizabeth said and Valerie nodded.
"And another thing... I ran away from home when I was young, like 15 or
so. I lived by myself and made a living and now my parents found
me and want to see me again. I haven't even told Howie that I am
a runaway." She said and Elizabeth nodded.
"You love Howie?"
"Yes, more than anything. I have been so unfair to him though, I
have been pushing him out of my life." Valerie said.
"Talk to him, tell him to not say anything and just listen. Then
discuss what needs to be discussed and take it from there. If he
can't handle your problems than maybe you are with the wrong guy, but I
know that isn't true. Howie is very understanding and I see the hurt
in his eyes when he thinks you want him out of your life. Talk to
him, sleep on it and talk again, everything will work out." Elizabeth said
and stood up and Valerie gave her a little hug.
"Thank you and sorry that Howie woke you up." She apologized.
"No problem." She said and went to her room and told Howie to talk to Valerie.
"Sit Howie, I need to talk to you." Valerie said and Howie sat on the bed
and looked at her.
"Is-" He began.
"Don't talk, just listen." Valerie said and Howie nodded.
"When I was fifteen years old I ran away from home. I don't even
know why I did it, but I did it. I lived on my own until I met you
and worked as a waitress to survive, plus I went to school. A couple
of days I heard a message on the machine at home that my parents have found
me and I
don't want to see
them again." She said.
"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Howie asked and Valerie shrugged
her shoulders.
"I don't know, I felt stupid I guess." She sighed.
"Never feel stupid around me! I love you and I don't want you to have to
suffer alone." Howie said and held her, they were both exhausted and fell
asleep. For the first time in a long time Valerie slept peacefully.